Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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