she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I'm both gender and math confused
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
