if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Randomize
