he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
