Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize