I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
