do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
