theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
