The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
