I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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