walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
