You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
