Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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