why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
