guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm just crazy horny about you
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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