piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
