if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
