I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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