I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize