She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
