State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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