Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
