I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
