You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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