Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
