One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
NoShamevember. You game?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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