i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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