Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
