You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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