five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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