Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I believe in your delicious
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
