Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
