Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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