how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
