Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
My dick has a subreddit
Randomize
