I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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