we're chasing vodka with high fives
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
