i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
