I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
