Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
where am i from again
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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