my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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