a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
