so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
His nipple licking is glorious
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