as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
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we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
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I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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