not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I love you.
Bad choice
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
