I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
