Sponge bath it is.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
