# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
