Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
