Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
