Please, let me fuck your mom
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
