Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
