Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
