ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Green mimosas i think yes
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Randomize
