my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
