Ketchup is God's man juice
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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