If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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