Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
