if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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