Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
