Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
