chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
