i dedicated my morning wood to you.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
